How Many Broken Bones Is Enough?

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By Duane Sloane

The worst is the passive aggressive guilt placed on parents when they become so overwhelmed they can no longer handle their child at home.

To those who may be among those who judge let me ask you: How many broken bones is ok? How many times should it be ok to be punched, pinched, purposefully vomited on?

How long should the siblings not be ever able to have friends over or sleep through the night? What’s the cutoff number for punching your six year-old brother?

Is there any PTSD involved for the rest of the family? How about the 11 year-old sister who is just used to the idea that her 16 year-old brother randomly strips naked and walks around naked, sometimes with an erection before we see him?

I contend that there are more selfish things than residential care. Like a lifetime of scars for everyone else to deal with as well. A fully staffed, well run residential facility is not a punishment to our children. It’s a decision filled with guilt and self-doubt.

But for those truly severe and beyond the cute toddler stage it is a heart wrenching sometimes necessary decision. Unless you have dealt day-to-day with violent severe autism in an adolescent, maybe reserve judgment. In fact just reserve judgment regardless.

There’s enough guilt already.